South Park in the Dark
by SnowUshanka
Summary: It's South Park... but not as you know it. The boys are hiding out with four unknown girls in the middle of a stereotypical apocolypse... this is a story of bravery, friendship, love and survival... Hopefully humorous along the way. Slight Stendy and Kybe
1. Chapter 1

**South Park in the Dark**

They woke, hearts pounding again at the same time. Kyle looks to Stan, who looks to Kenny, who looks to Cartman crunching the last of the choc chip biscuits.

"CARTMAN!!" They all yell in unison. The crunching stops and Cartman slowly turns around and looks innocently at the three boys standing hands on hips glaring at him.

"That," Stan pinches the bridge of his nose, "was our last bag of cookies."  
"Yeah!" Kenny steps forward, throwing his hands up in the air, "Now we're onto the low fat bags!"

Kyle shrugs. He doesn't eat high fat food anymore. There was a crash all of a sudden, coming from behind the door. Kenny stands forward, in front of Kyle who is whimpering on the floor, and Stan grabs a gun and aimed it at the door. Cartman drops the empty packet of cookies and grabs a machete and his tatty Clyde Frog toy. The only noise that can be heard is the pounding of hearts, the ragged breathing and the heavy footsteps that are approaching the door.

It began on New Year's Eve, the beginning of 2010. Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman were gathered around talking at Craig's totally sweet bash. Butters was going crazy, and singing off key to Survivor. Clyde was making out with someone on the stairs, and every time somebody went to the bathroom they'd trip over him. Yeah, it was the perfect party that sixteen year old kids should be going to. The countdown was in an hour, and everyone at the party gathered round Craig's pool to reminisce the year just past-2009.  
Bebe took hold of the microphone, and blushed.

"This year, I started going out with Damien," there were cat calls and whistles all round, as Bebe giggled and blushed. Kyle scowled. He was in love with Bebe, he had been for years now but what could he do against the son of the devil? The microphone is passed to Craig.

"Well, hosting this sweet New Year's party. And spray-painting the side of the church." He high fived Damien and the microphone was passed to Stan.

"I am the quarterback for the South Park Cows," he looked boredly around, "And got back together with my girlfriend Wendy." The mic was passed on to Cartman.

"I finally sewed Clyde Frog's head to his body," He glared at Kyle, "And snuck into an R rated movie, stole Kyle's shoes, hid Kyle's mother's shoes, did an apple juice fart in Kyle's dad's hat..." The microphone is snatched away, and given to Kenny.

"Well, I became a pimp and slutted it up in NYC." Everyone stared at him. After Clyde telling everyone about his house being aired for termites and Butters saying how he pre-recorded techno My Heart Will Go On with Celine Dion, not to mention Token meeting Terrence and Phillip it was one minute to midnight. Craig had a huge cuckoo clock rigged above the pool, and it was decided that when the clock struck midnight they would all jump in. The music was pumping, the beat so loud and strong and everyone turned to face the clock. The TV had the volume down, but was showing an evening report in the background. The newsreader was showing footage of someone walking with a limp, then the screen buzzed dead.

"Five," Stan snaked his arm around Wendy's waist.

"Four," Kenny lit a cigarette, and Kyle grabbed it and threw it in the pool, scowling disapprovingly.

"Three," Cartman had sneaked away from the crowd and was finishing off the leftover 2010 cheesecake.

"Two," Bebe took off her top, and Kyle blushed.

"One," Everyone gathered around the pool.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" There was an ear-splitting splash as eighty people or so hit the water. It was crowded, and people were screaming and laughing and hugging and kissing. Kyle sighed. This year would just bring more pain and suffering. Stan kissed Wendy, and Kenny lit up another cigarette. Cartman shoved candy bars from the snack table into his pockets, and the cuckoo bird squawked its tenth squawk.

Meanwhile...

"Ow... It bit me."

"What?! Are you serious?"

"Y-yeah..."

The man in the black suit secured the cage door and walked gingerly over to the man with the black sunglasses.

"You're going to turn into one of them any minute, and there's no antidote!"  
"Why didn't you develop one?!"

"Because, there's never an antidote in the movies. And you're victim number one. You'll be the one to unleash terror and spread the virus like in the movies... that's why I'm locking you up."  
"What?! In the cage with that... that monstrosity?!"

"You'll be just like him soon."

"Why did we create this virus?"

"We are new recruits to the military, we were bored, and wanted to create a stereotypical horror situation."

"But did you have to inject our supervisor with the disease?"  
"He was a prick." Suddenly, black sunglasses drooped to the floor.

"Tony! Tony, can you hear me?" The sunglasses fell off, revealing glazed over eyes.

"NOOOO!!!!" Black suit turned away biting his fist. Then he ran over to Tony and began to drag him near the cage where his supervisor was moaning chained to the wall. But Tony was heavy, and before they got to the cage Tony's dead eyes flashed blue, and his mouth opened.

"Oh god," black suit dropped Tony, and raced to the computer.

"Computer, where's the nearest town?"

Tony dragged himself to his feet, and, moaning made his way slowly to black suit.

"Beep, South Park," the computer replied.

As Tony came closer, and black suit backed away to the iron door, he whispered, "They're all doomed..."


	2. Chapter 2

Kyle woke up surrounded by wet, snoring bodies. He was on the coach, draped around Craig. Standing up, Kyle squinted. Then remembered. Looking up at the cuckoo clock, it was three AM, 2010. New Year's Day. He stumbled through the sea of sleeping people. Butters, Clyde, Token, even Jimmy and Timmy, Pip, Wendy, Stan, Damien, Kenny, Cartman, Ike, Rebecca, Bradley, Kelly, Thomas, Tweek and... Bebe. He stopped his weaving, and crouched down next to the sleeping blonde and stroked her cheek.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" He froze, and whipped round to see a groggy Ike rubbing his head.

"I'm uh, leaving. We have to go to that luncheon tomorrow remember?"

"Oh yeah." Ike said, following Kyle as they enter Craig's house.

It's dark and cool, even though it was at least forty degrees outside.

Craig lived relatively close to Kyle; then again most people lived in the same neighbourhood that the Broflovski's knew: The Marshs, the Tweaks, the Stevens... Kenny lived close by too, but further down in a shabbier more crime ridden street.

They walked through the house, and pushed open the front door. Walking down the road down to their house would take a good ten minutes on foot, five on bike and one in a car. South Park might not be as cold as other times of the year, but there was still a little bit of snow on the ground.

Kyle walked fast-he had a fear of the dark-and Ike trotted along behind him, struggling to keep up.

"What's the rush Kye? We could've just stayed the night at Craigie's."

Kyle scowled irritably; he hated it when Ike hang out with his friends. Actually, apart from Stan, everyone _did _like Ike better. I mean, he was tall, tan and muscular, and also played for the Cows. Kyle was tallish, pale and weedy, and still sported that ginger jewfro.

"You know how pissed off mom would be," he lied. His mother probably wouldn't care less where he was as long as he appeared in a suit when the luncheon was going on.

They were five houses away when they heard screaming. It was a good hundred metres or so away, probably a late night party, but it still gave Kyle the shivers.

"Yo, are you cold?"

"No I'm fine Ike," Kyle pulled his key out of his orange coat and unlocked the front door. Everything was still and cold. He could hear his mother snoring and the slight buzz from the refrigerator. Kyle didn't know what it was, but he didn't feel like being alone.

"Ike," he suddenly turned to him, "Let's put on a movie in my room."

"Really? That would be cool. I sorta feel like you've been avoiding me lately."

"Of course not. Your pick," he said, quietly running up the stairs.

Once in his room, Kyle switched on the lights and dragged his old school TV into the middle of the room. He pulled down the blinds and took the pillows off his bed and put them on the floor for them to sit on.

"Hey Kyle," Ike said, coming in and closing the door, "I chose this." He threw 'Get Smart' onto my blue stripy doona cover.

"Cool," I said, opening the plastic cover and getting the disc out.

"Oh crap," Ike looked up at me with his big grey eyes, "I left my wallet at the party, I'll be right back."

He ran out of the room, Kyle on his tail.

"Ike, let me go with you."

"Ok, we'll get the bikes."

Stan groaned and opened his eyes. The screaming coming from a few houses down was really annoying him. 'Keep the party going all night long' people, he assumed. He stood up, and scanned the sleeping bodies for Kenny, who was staying the night at his house. He gently lifted Wendy's head from his chest, and saw Kenny asleep under the clock next to Damien. He groaned. He crept around the outlines of other sleeping bodies until he got to Kenny's.

"Kenny." Nothing.

"Hey Kenny!"  
Nothing.

Stan went over to the food table but there were no drinks left only empty cups. He picked up a cup, went over to the pool, filled up the cup and drenched Kenny's face.

He sat up spluttering.

"What the f-"

"Ssh Kenny, people are sleeping."

Kenny pouted.

"Anyway, we have to get going home now. I don't know how I feel asleep, I only remember sitting on the coach being exhausted. Anyway, my house is close by enough, we need to go."

"But dude, I was making out with Kelly!"

"WAS. She's over there, cuddled up to Thomas."

They got to the patio doors leading into Craig's house and went inside. Suddenly there were footsteps and moaning coming down from the stairs. It sounded as if it were approaching.

"Dude, what's that?" Stan sweated. Although he wouldn't admit to it, he had a morbid fear of burglars.

The moaning grew louder, and there was a sharp intake of breath as something latched onto Kenny's arm.

Cartman's face came into focus. He was clutching Kenny awkwardly and moaning while holding his stomach.

"You guys, I ate too much..."

"Dude, Cartman, you don't look so good." Kenny said.

"Yeah," Stan agreed, "You should sleep over at my house too. We're leaving now, and we can get you some fizzy water or something."

"O-ok..."  
"Just don't do that again," Stan paused to open the front door, "You really scared us."


	3. Chapter 3

The bikes skidded to a halt in front of Craig's house. The time was five am. It was dark, but there was a hint of orange lining the sky.

It was a normal dawn for a new day... or so they thought.

Kyle leant his bike up against the side of the house and tried the front door. Still open. No surprise, Craig's parents were out of town and everyone was sleeping in his backyard. They went back through the cold silent house and suddenly Kyle collapsed.

"What is it?" Ike asked.

"I-I don't know..." Kyle got to his feet and held onto Ike for support.

"Maybe you should stay here; I remember where my wallet is so I shouldn't be very long."

"O-Ok..."

Kyle found a bar stool and sat there in the dark, terrified yet frozen.

"Cartman, hurry up!"

"But you guys, seriously, I'm hungry!"  
"Dude, you just came to us moaning you'd eaten too much."

"I walked it off," he grinned.

"Cartman," Stan turned around irritably, "We've only walked like two metres."

"Yeah," Kenny turned around, "I can still see Craig's house!"

"Hey, what's that," Cartman pointed at two shady outlines on bikes opening the front door and going in.

"Dude!" Stan began to panic, "Burglars!"

"What do we do?" Cartman began to walk in circles.

Stan stared at him.

"Nothing!"  
"Stan, Craig is our friend. We can't let him get robbed!" Kenny argued.

"We'll call the cops back at Stan's house."

"No, it'll take too long."

"Let's go spy on them."

"They might have guns!"

"We'll make sure they can't see us." Headstrong and loyal, Kenny headed to Craig's house with Cartman in slow pursuit and Stan in even slower pursuit.

Meanwhile...

"H-hello? Who's there?" Judy, the new receptionist for the military called out nervously as she heard bangs and moans coming from the door that led to the laboratory.

"Pete is that you? Did you touch the acid again? Pete?" The groaning continued, and Judy stood up and grasped the iron door handle.

It happened too fast. The screams, the faces, Tony and Pete and their supervisor John knocked Judy to the ground, and leant over her with their mouths dripping blood and their eyes blue and glazed over... and once they finished with her they took a look at the unlocked glass doors leading to the outside world... They would reach South Park in less than an hour.

Kyle spun his head around. He heard a noise. The slight swing of the door, the slight creak of the hinges. There was no wind. Someone was there... watching him...

"Kyle!" Kyle jumped, and turned to see Ike standing there with his brown leather wallet.

"Let's go," he stood up hurriedly and putting all his fears aside, stormed out the front door.

"Kyle," Ike ran to catch up with him, "You're acting funny."

"Hey!" The voice made Ike and Kyle jump and whip around to Craig's house.

"It's only you Kyle," A very relieved Stan peered around from a pot plant which lined Craig's parent's garden. Kenny and Cartman peeked around too.

"We thought you were a robber. Sneaky Jews!"

"Ike had to go back for his wallet," Kyle said flatly, ignoring Cartman's remark.

"Well, do you want to come back to mine?" Stan queried, "Everyone else is."

"Sure. Nothing back home except a feeling of impending doom."

"But Kyle, you said that mom would say..."  
"Not now Ike."

"The luncheon..." Defeated, Ike drooped his head and traipsed after Kyle's friends back to Stan's house.

Kyle lay on Stan's coach at six am, still hadn't gone to sleep (half because there were more screaming parties near Stan's house and because he was thinking). Did he really love Bebe that much? Or was he gay? I know, dumb question for someone who has been trying to win the affection of a girl since fourth grade, but maybe it was just to convince himself. He thought about Bebe... I mean, sure she had thick, glossy blonde curls and big, brown doe eyes... she wasn't exactly thin like Wendy, but she had a great rack... who am I kidding? Kyle turned over, I am totally straight.

Stan scowled in the darkness. Too much screaming. Kyle is too restless. So much moaning coming from next door-are they having an orgy or what?

Cartman looked over at his friends. Apart from Kyle who was tossing and turning (little wimp probably having a nightmare) they were still. Cartman crawled off his mattress and headed to the Marsh's kitchen. He was starving.

Kenny listened to Kyle toss and turn, Cartman sneak off to the kitchen, Stan sighing and turned on the lamp next to the coach he was on.

Ike groaned and covered his eyes.

"Kenny!"  
"Face it guys, none of us are going to sleep." There was a quiet pause of agreement.

"Oh, and Stan, Cartman is raiding your fridge."

"Cartman!"

Cartman's head pokes through the arch joining the kitchen to the living room.

"What?"

"Let's turn on the TV," Kyle said, shivering.

"Do you have cold or something?" Stan asked as Kyle wrapped himself in a blanket and sat up.

"N-no..."

"It's like, forty degrees," Kenny pointed out, waving towards the fan.

"Ugh," Stan covered his ears, "You guys hear all that moaning?"

"Yeah I know," Cartman came back into the room, "They must be having some seriously..."

"Hey look guys!" Kenny, who was looking out the window called, "There is a bunch of people just limping around the street!"

Everyone joined him at the window, and sure enough there was at least twenty people walking around confused and groaning.

"D-dude," Kyle started shaking violently.

"Uh, pretty far out party _they're _having, huh?" Stan said uncertainly.

"I'm uh, gunna go secure the doors and windows. They all look super drunk." Kenny said.

"Well you would know, you're parents are always drunk you poor piece of crap!"  
"Shut up! Those guys might be violent and we don't want to draw attention to ourselves."

Suddenly, there was a loud bang against the window, and the boys screamed as a diseased, moaning face was pressed up against the glass, mouth oozing blood.

"Oh my god!" Kyle's knees gave out and he dropped to the floor.

"Kyle!" Ike cried, and rushed over from the chair he was curled up in.

"Dude!"Stan exclaimed, dropping the blinds down.

Cartman turned on the TV, and saw a news reporter's face.

"The time of evil is upon us, as the stereotypical zombies walk the earth preying on human flesh. Do I have any advice? Hell no, watch a good zombie movie right now and imitate everything they do." Cartman switched off the TV.

"I've seen Dawn of the Dead and Shaun of the Dead," announced Stan.

"Guys, your back door lock doesn't work..."  
"then we need to get out of here!" Ike yelled hysterically.

"Why?"  
"Kenny, there's a zombie apocalypse."

"Oh crap."


	4. Chapter 4

Stan went down to the basement, and rounded up his parent's guns. He threw them out.

"But I want the big one!"Cartman whined. Kyle sighed and they traded.

"Ok, so we need a plan," Ike started, closing the basement door.

"Keep quiet, move slowly," Kenny offered.

"Aim for their head."

"If in doubt, act like one of them."  
"Don't use light at night."  
"Find a safe place with plenty of food."  
"Find a double story place food, and blow up the staircase."  
"These are all great ideas, but we need a safe haven to get to."

"The mall?"  
"So unoriginal Kyle."  
"Chef's house?"  
"Not safe enough."  
"How aboot..." Ike glared as Cartman stifled a giggle.

"Dude, this is serious!" Kyle snarled.

"Ok, we'll head back to Craig's and warn our friends."  
"They might be zombies!"  
"We can't risk it!"  
"Can I drive?"

Ike put the car into reverse. The boys were arguing and scared out of their wits. Nobody was thinking clearly. He pulled out of the garage, and then did a wicked spin in the BMW owned by Stan's parents. He accelerated onto the road and drove straight through a hoard of zombies. He watched as everyone closed their eyes.

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening..." Kyle chanted to himself over and over.

"Kyle, dude, it's happening," snapped Stan. Ike was a little put off. Stan and Kyle never fought, not properly.

Ike flew down the road until he got to Craig's house.

"So much for keeping quiet and moving slowly," muttered Kenny, "Now we have everyone's attention."

He gestured to the army of the undead closing in on the car.

"Drive! Drive into the house!" Shrieked Cartman. Nobody knew if he was serious or thought that driving high speed into a house was cool, but suddenly Ike burst through the wall of Craig's house, and drove crazily though the kitchen until he burst onto the patio. The headlights revealed annoyed bodies standing up and covering their eyes. The zombies hadn't reached them yet. Because they were silent and still and in the dark. We'd given away their hiding place. The army behind us groaned, and Stan got out of the car to climb up onto the roof.

"Ok, everyone get into this car. Get Craig's parent's car and if you see a car parked outside get it. Use anything you can to get it to start-hairpins, whatever. Get it and follow us."

Ike turned back in the driver's seat to see that the zombies were a good twenty metres away-they would have time to get their cars.

"No way man," Clyde said, "we're sleeping."

"Listen, we don't have much time-"

"Flip the car!" Yelled Craig. There was a shout of agreement, and then Bebe rushed to the scene waving her hands.

"This shouldn't get out of hand guys..."

"Listen, this may be hard to believe but there is a zombie apocalypse going on right now..."

The crowd booed, and Craig shoved Bebe out of the way and pushed Stan off the car roof. He fell onto the tiles, and Craig got on top of him. Stan's always been a pacifist, hated fighting with anybody, but when lives are at stake he can pack a pretty decent punch. Craig staggered off, holding his nose. Kyle opened the car door to rush to Stan's aid, and Kenny opened the door. Damien went for Craig then, threatening: "Don't touch my girlfriend!"

Kyle whistled for attention, and made an announcement once every pair of eyes was looking at him.

"Thank you. Now, we need to get in a car and drive somewhere safe to avoid the zombies. We only have room for one more passenger-"

He was cut off as Tweek dived in and slammed the door.

"Nygargh! I hear the groa-groaning! Ah!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and were quiet. The groaning was louder, because the zombies were only fifteen metres away.

"Oh my god!" Wendy cried, pointing. The zombies had reached the top of the hill towards the house, and limped towards them.

"Dude," Token ran out of the demolished house and jumped in his flashy red sports car.

Craig, Damien, Bebe and Rebecca scrabbled into that car, and then a bomb of a car screeched onto the patio. The driver, Clyde, helped Jimmy and Timmy into his car, and the Tourettes kid Thomas leaped into the available seat.

Kelly, Kenny's ex-girlfriend pulled up in a huge shiny four-wheel drive, and called over to Bradley, Butters and Pip, the last remaining people. Kyle was sad that the other people from the school he would never see again because they hadn't been invited to the party-the Goths, the emos, the ugly kids, that annoying basketball kid Branson... even those vampire kids... But he had to get moving to save his own life. They clambered back into the BMW, and drove down the line of cars to the front.

Stan stood up on the roof again.

"Everyone follow my car," he turned to see the zombies less than five metres away and said hurriedly, "We're heading to uh," Kyle saw he was sweating over where to go, and joined him on the roof. With the zombies so close they needed someone who could make quick decisions.

"Bennigans the family restaurant!" Everyone turned to look at him.

"Food, strong doors, a phone..."

"Goody!" They heard the muffled yell of Butters from the four wheel drive.

"Let's drive!" Stan cheered, slipping back into the car.

"You better let me drive, I know where Bennigans is."

"Ok," Ike said sliding over. Then a thought struck him. He'd never see his girlfriend Flora again. He'd known her since kindergarten, when she was the most indecisive girl in class. She used to go out with the bully, Filmore, but only recently started going out with Ike.

"I have to make a stop along the way," Ike said in a business-like tone.

"It's too risky." Stan said bluntly, starting up the car. Ike opened the door and army-rolled out of the moving car, and rushed over to a motor-bike on the opposite side of the road.

"Ike, get back here!" Kyle was hysterical.

Ike roared down the road, attracting the attention of a few zombies from the mob.

"Go after him, Stan!"

"I can't," Stan looked at Kyle guiltily, "I have like, twenty other lives in my hands."  
Kyle's eyes filled up with tears as the car drove down the road. Would he ever see Ike again?


End file.
